How to Make the Most of Mother-Daughter Getaways

For some of us, the thought of spending 48-plus uninterrupted hours with our mother or daughter strikes us with fear. However, with Mother’s Day just around the corner, now is the perfect opportunity to strengthen that special link you share with your mother or daughter and embark on a journey dedicated to enhancing your relationship.

With a positive outlook and some careful planning, these trips can be remembered years to come for the laughs and good times you shared, rather than the screaming matches. In fact, they even present the opportunity to shed previously existing boundaries and, in turn, allow each woman to gain enhanced fulfillment from the relationship.

As Roni Cohen-Sandler, clinical psychologist and the author of Trust Me Mom—Everyone Else is Going explains, “When traveling, there is a natural easing of authority lines and greater equality among the generations, which allows women to explore new and usually more desirable facets of each other.”

Getaway Guide

Below are our ground rules for charting new territory with the very person who can be both your biggest fan and critic. Just remember to bring sunscreen, a camera and a smile, and be prepared to take your relationship to new dimensions.

• Decide as a unit what kind of trip you want. Are you looking simply to unwind or are you in the mood for more adventure? Based on this, you can both suggest ideas accordingly—i.e., a trip to a spa for those seeking relaxation or surf lessons for those craving activity.

• Don’t let one person coordinate every detail of the trip. Rather, take turns and make compromises with the planning so that each person feels that her needs and interests are being represented. If you are crazy about cooking and she is all about horseback riding, arrange the vacation so that you can take a cooking class one day and go on a horseback ride the next. That way, you both have something to get excited about.

• Alisal Guest Ranch’s mother-daughter cowgirl boot camp is a chance for mothers and daughters to learn the fundamentals of important cowgirl skills like barrel racing and lasso roping.
• Courtesy of Alisal Guest Ranch and Resort

• Since money can be a major source of tension, determine who will be paying for what beforehand. Are you splitting everything 50-50, or will you be paying for the airfare and rooms, while she covers the meals and day-to-day activities?

• Remember, it’s all about the quality, not the quantity. Before you book a two-week cruise, think about your past travel history. If you’re used to only spending the holidays together, opt for a beachside destination or a long three-day weekend.

• Just because you’re committed to spending quality time with your mother or daughter, doesn’t mean you can’t embark on a group activity, such as whitewater rafting or a nature hike. In fact, the presence of strangers may prompt you to act on your best behavior and meet new families with similar interests.

• Likewise, a mother-daughter getaway does not mean that you have to spend every single breathing second with one another. Both of you should bring along a good book or even set alone time so you can take an occasional break from one another. Encourage her to take a dip in the pool while you check out the local flea markets. You’ll come back feeling reconnected and eager to continue where you left off.

• Turn off your BlackBerrys, cell phones, iPods and what-have-you when spending time together. This only disrupts the mood and makes the other person feel as if they’re not being valued.